You Don't Really Know Me: Why Mothers and Daughters Fight and How Both Can WinMothers and teenage daughters argue more than any other child parent pair on average every two and a half days. These quarrels, Terri Apter shows, are attempts to negotiate changes in a relationship that is valued by both mothers and daughters. A daughter often feels her mother doesn't know or understand her, and by fighting hopes to force her mother into a new awareness of who she really is, how she has changed, and what she is now capable of doing